Of Days Gone Past

The luxury of time
Gives luxury of thought
To remember days
we have forgot

Reflections on Thai mission trip Dec 2006

Pre-trip: Felt a sense of spiritual dryness because of some wrong choices I made. A sense of inadequacy too.

During trip:
Felt more comfortable and myself this year with my team as compared to last year. Last year I was kind of acting up a bit, to get attention and stuff. God dealt with my fear of rejection then. This year, God taught me lessons on faith and love.

On faith:
I realised on the morning I was leaving for the Land of Smiles that my passport expiry date was less than 6 months away from my date of departure. Immediately, I realised this was God’s first test of faith for me. I prayed very hard and just believed that God will take care of things. He did! Praise God.

Once again, I learned that constant prayer is very important. Thank God that even though there were hiccups here and there in our mime, the main message was carried across.

Pastor Wirat encouraged me a lot with his persevering faith amidst trials in building the church in Song Dao. Though he feels discouraged at times, I believe this will continue to teach him to depend on God all the time.

On love:
Really thank God for 5 wonderful, amazing brothers and sisters in Christ. And I find it fit to share with you guys how each one of you taught me to love God and others.

Katherine – Thank you for speaking the truth in love. Your calm and measured manner of speaking helps bring calm into conversations. I remember how you helped handle the small conflict crisis in the hotel room on the last night. And at age 26, I mean 36, I forget, your youthfulness also shines through in your hilarious guffaws and gung ho-ness, i.e carrying so many bags at the airport. It felt really good to hear your encouragement that I have matured from last year. Thank you very much. Even though I feel our personalities are quite different, you being the no nonsense teacher and I being the trigger-happy, sometimes unconventional young dude, I thank God that despite some tension I felt with you even till the last days of the trip, He has worked out our differences and helped us focus on our similarity, that we are brother and sister in Christ. I really want to honour you for your maturity and wisdom. My prayer for you is that as you step into ETC next year, God will mould you into a woman after His own heart, abiding in his word at all times, in all circumstances.

Rui Hao – I may call you uncle at times, but it’s not because you are old, but because you’re like my spiritual uncle. You’ve really been a blessing to me with your idiosyncrasies and words of wisdom and advice. I liked what you said when I asked you what book should I read, and you said the bible. How true indeed! Your gentleness and humility really shines through and I praise God for giving you such a broken and contrite spirit. In you I can really see love in action, sweeping the floor almost every morning while I snoozed away. Not just that, I also admire your effective handling of tasks (i.e ability to see the big picture) and tact in speaking to the team. I feel you really model servant leadership. Thanks brother and uncle, for all of these. I will continue to pray for you against distraction, distress, depression and destruction from the evil one, as well as for the salvation and discipleship of your parents and grandmother.

Shawna – In you I can see a heart that truly desires to please the Lord. And I am very encouraged by that. Your faithful service behind the scenes I have observed and I would like to honour you for your sincerity and humility in service, not asking for anything in return. That’s the spirit I feel in you. The spirit to honour the Lord, love Him and love the body of Christ. On a lighter note, your bullet train pace of speaking really cracks me up sometimes, especially when you answer your own questions. And your ‘bai pose’ somehow will always stick as your caption for me. Thank you for acting so convincingly with me, even though it may have been disturbing for you to keep looking at my ji gou pek face during the mime times. My verse of encouragement to you is Galations 5:22-23. I am encouraged by your effort to reach out to the Thai people by talking to them and praying for them. I pray that the Holy Spirit will continue to ripen His fruit in your live and that you will be matured and complete, not lacking anything.

Ruby – First things first. Thank you for putting up with my goofy antics in and out of the mime. I know sometimes I pushed things too far, so sorry about that. I was really blessed by the worship you led during devotion. Loved the song you chose: I Thank You Lord, because it’s about going through trials and tribulations I am encouraged by how you value relationships and how you reached out to the Thai people in words, smiles and prayer with Shawna. Just seeing you interact so warmly with the lady at the place I met joy brought warmth into my heart. I pray that God will continue to do His work in you to draw you into a relationship so intimate with Him that it casts out all fear. And may the joy of the Lord always be your strength.

Yong Liang – Hey brother. I just want to say you especially have taught me a lesson in humility and servanthood. I just kept wondering throughout the trip: man, this guy is so others centred. I want to learn from him. It’s those little questions you ask and things you do that impacted me. The spirit with which you speak is full of meekness. And I want to say you’re not far from inheriting the earth as Jesus said of the meek. And that moment of forgiveness during Ruby’s worship time just blessed my heart because it was a time of true love. Really hope to get to know you better man.

And now to all of you: Thank you so much for teaching me the spirit of true love, a lesson which prior to this trip I knew more in my head and struggled to practice in my heart. I think now I am able to love more from my heart than my head, and more of actions rather than just words. I am convinced that this love among the body is a major key to opening the hearts of many to Christ. As the bible says in John 13:35: ‘Your strong love for each other will prove to the world that you are my disciples.’

Post trip
As usual, it was so easy to slip back into old bad habits after coming down from such a high spiritual altitude. I realised that on the trip it was so easy to focus on God because He was our agenda. Also, there were hardly any distractions. Back here in Singapore, the intensity of missions immediately dissipates because there are so many other distractions, events, thoughts, people thrown in my face that threaten to take away this missions mindset. I pray that God will help me to live each day with the purpose of getting to know Christ and to make Him known. I desire to live each day seeking God for divine appointments for me to share the gospel fearlessly as I should, just like we did as a group in Thailand. Coming back also poses the challenge of standing firm without the physically present support of a mission team. It really challenges me in the area of letting God’s word be the ultimate anchor and not peer support. Yet at the same time, it highlights to me the importance of surrounding myself with good godly friends and not to be an isolated individual.

Attending dawn prayer has been awesome. It reminds me to put God first at the start of the day. During the dawn prayer week, He gave me one word for this year : faith. Indeed, I will definitely need to build up my faith in Him during the army, where all of us know it is so easy to slip away from God. I will definitely need all the prayers to counter the schemes of the devil. Also, before the trip, I had vision concerning how God will use me to point people to Him in the army. In the vision, I saw myself standing in the middle of an MRT platform with a few others. We were dressed in army uniform. As other army men were coming up the escalator, we were pointing them to the MRT train on one side. Some were persuaded by us, but there were others who went to the other side of the platform. God impressed upon me that He will use me and other Christian brothers to point people in the right direction, to Him, Even though not all will listen, I must carry out my duty as His soldier. So prayers are also needed in the area of evangelism in the army, that God will help us to spread the gospel accurately, sensitively and boldly.

I really hope to finish 2007 well, growing in the area of endurance and doing everything with zest unto the Lord. To God be the eternal glory, he who was, is and is to come!

Trained through Trials

Thank You Lord for the trials that come my way
in that way I can grow each day as I let You lead
and thank you lord for the patience those trials bring
in the process of growing i can learn to care

chorus
but it goes against the way i am to put my human nature down
and let the spirit take control of all i do
cause when those trials come
my human nature
shouts the things to do
and god's soft prompting
can be easily ignored

i thank you lord with each trial i feel inside
that your're there to help lead and guide
me away from wrong
cause you promised lord
that with ev'ry testing
that your way of escaping is easier to bear

chorus

i thank you lord for the vict'ry that growing brings
in surrender of ev'rything life is so worthwhile
and i thank you lord that when ev'rthing's put in place
out in front i can see your face and it's there you belong

Being conscious of God throughout the day 10/12/06

Woke up at 9.05am today
Sermon was on the meaning of Christmas to me:
1. Releasing your fears
2. Returning to God
3. Receving His forgivness
Pastor Tony preached. His repeated alot of words. I prayed that God would help him to deliver his message with more power and more of the anointing of the Holy Spirit. All the same, the substance was there. Indeed, as he said, forgiveneness is the greatest need of man. If man's greatest need was money, God would have sent an economist. But He sent a Saviour, to forgive and restore man to Him. I have to release my fears to God. Surrendur them to Him. My fear of stepping into adulthood, how others perceive me. Not anthropocentric but theocentric. I raised my hands when Pastor Tony called for people to return to God. At first, I felt that I was quite close to God and this call was more for people who have strayed far from God. But suddenly I was hit with the thought that I have to return to God daily, because everytime I sin, I move further away from Him. It is so easy to sin, that's obvious. After second service, I went with mum to Bukit Panjang Plaza to have lunch and cut my hair. Met Siyi and family there. They shared about their Japan trip. They went to Disneyland and Mount Fuji inter alia. The exchange rate of the Japanese Yen is 1Yen = S$1.35. Goods there are very much more expensive than in Singapore. Pastor Tony told a joke about Singapore being a 'sin' city. When tourists pick up their luggage at the Singapore airport, the first word they encounter on their luggage tags is SIN. Haha. My hair now is nice. Comfortable. Very soon it will be even more comfortable and cooling up there. Went back to church at 2 for missions sharing and praying. It was good. Prayed for the Sukop, Thai and East Timor and team that just came back and the Bintan and second Thai team (my team) that are leaving soon. Overall, God was faithful and gracious to the teams that just came back. Yi Ren's team mangaged to get their ferry tickets at the last minute. God's grace. Prayed for Siang Hon, his family and friends who are in North West China that they will be able to balance sharing the Gospel and taking care of their security by not being too overt. I thank God for sending Siang Hon into Kazakhstan and I pray that God will continue to open doors for the gospel to made known to the people there. After the meeting, which ended about 4.30, Yi Ren and I made our way to West Mall to catch 'Casino Royale'. Before that, I taught him quadratic equations A maths. Could'nt do one of his questions myself. Anyway, Dad just showed me how to do it. When I do maths, I must have confidence that I am not making any careless mistake and after checking for that once, I should move on to try other methods. So that I won't waste time. 'Casino Royale' was smart, occasionally interspersed with witty one liners. I closed my eyes at the sex scenes. After watching the show though, it made me realise that people love Bond because he represents brains and brauns, ideal attributes that help make one successful in this world. I admit that I couldn't catch all the plot machinations because I was not mentally fast enough. Eerily, the show immediately affected my conversations with Yi Ren after the 2 hour 30 minutes or so thriller. Our conversation tended to be more cryptic, trying to guess the intention and hidden meanings of what the other was saying. At least on my part. Felt unnatural and egoistic. People desire to outsmart one another, even in conversations, by using shared experiences or facts about the other person when talking to show their ability to connect the past and present, and hence imply their intellectual aptititude. Sigh. I just want to surrendur to God all these things, and as 1 Timothy says to love Him with a pure heart, clear conscience and sincere faith. No trying to do things to please the self but to glorify Him, and Him alone. What is life on earth compared to eternity after all? Came back home quite late and paoed my jiao. Read about the 6th victim in Singapore of sudden death. Jasmine says it's supernatural. Who knows. The end time is here. God will come like a thief in the night. Must be prepared all the time, surrenduring my life to Him daily. It is 12.26 right now. Going to watch a bit of chelsea-arsenal match. Tomorrow gym with Yi Ren at 10am.

Oh today I did day 11 of Purpose Driven Life: Becoming Best Friends with God. Constant conversation with God and meditation upon His words is what I want. Haven't finished reading 'A Potrait of the Artist as a Young Man' yet. Maybe tomorrow.

Rating for today: 4 stars.

HOLIDAY SCHEDULE!!!!!!!!!!!!

1-8: China trip. Read books on bus. Play with Kai Kai. Journal. Buy christmas presents for people. (Mr Lee Wei Qi Set)
9-15: RSAF talk, Watch movie with Yi Ren, Go out with Jac, Run, Swim, Gym, Read books,
16-24: Thai Trip
25 Dec-12 Jan: Run, Swim, Gym. Christmas carolling, Spend time with family, Go out with friends.

Hidden with Christ

'Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits at God's right hand in the place of honour and power. Let heaven fill your thoughts. Do not think only about things down here on earth. For you died when Christ died, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. And when Christ, who is your real life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all his glory.' (Colossians 3:1-4)

I am dead.

Fearful animosties, self-expectations, prideful striving, desire to be well-liked to boost my ego, greed, lust, laziness - all dead.

It's all about Him.

Clothe me with your power from on high that I may do all things, in posture and purpose, for your Glory.

Amen

Let There Be Light

Tonight the moon was smiling at me and the rest of the people in Singapore; a flourescent glow of white shine, twinkling in the dark, dark sky.

The moon and the sun - such faithful givers of light. No matter how the earth moves, or how many clouds cover the sky, they will always be there for us, faithfully helping us to see this wonderful world God created for we.

And God said, 'Let bright lights appear in the sky to separate the day from the night. They wears will be signs to mark off the seasons, the days, and the years. Let their light shine down upon the earth.' And so it was. For God made two great lights, the sun and the moon, to shine down upon the earth. The greater one, the sun, presides during the day; the lesser one, the moon, presides through the night. He also made the stars. God set those lights in the heavens to light the earth, to govern the day and night, and to separate the light from the darkness. And God saw that it was good. This all happened on the fourth day. (Genesis 1:14-19)

When I think about the heavens,
the moon and all the stars,
I wonder what you ever saw in me.
But you took me and you loved me ,
And you've given me a smile,
And now I praise your name eternally.

I smile back at the moon. Thank you for the sun, moon and stars oh Lord. Not only do they mark off the seasons, they remind me of the reasons why I love you. You are the light that shines into my darkness. You are the fire that warms my cold heart. You are the faithful one who governs all the days of my life.

(A few seconds back, I looked out into the sky and found that the moon had vanished. It's ok. It will be back again tomorrow, with a smile).

I want to be the lamp on the lampstand. I want to be the lampost under the moon. I want to reflect your glory.

Dear God,
You are faithful; you bring the morning light and raise the moon at night everyday; you take my sins away; you fill me with joy and peace in your prescence; my future is safely secured in your hands; you will never leave me nor forsake me, even though I do sometimes. My lamp may fuse, but your light continues to shine, and relights my lamp each time. Brighter and brighter, deeper and deeper, I want to grow in You. I find no other thing a worthy substitute for you. Only you bring meaning and purpose, and after that life, to the empty soul that craves for alms of light. Though my life on earth has only spanned some 18 years, and experience I do not have much; I know in my spirit, beyond human reasoning, HOW GREAT THOU ART. And through these words typed out to be preserved, may you receive this love that you have deposited in me.

From your child that cries with joy,
I believe

Proverbs on the Wrong Way to Speak

Here are six things God hates, and one more that he loathes with a passion: eyes that are arrogant, a tongue that lies, hands that murder the innocent, a heart that hatches evil plots, feet that race down a wicked track, a mouth that lies under oath, a troublemaker in the family. (6:16-19)
The loose tongue of the godless spreads destruction; the common sense of the godly preserves them. (11:9)
Mean-spirited slander is heartless; quiet discretion accompanies good sense. A gadabout gossip can't be trusted with a secret, but someone of integrity won't violate a confidence. (11:12-13)
Rash language cuts and maims, but there is healing in the words of the wise. (12:18)
Careful words make for a careful life; careless talk may ruin everything. (13:3)
Mean people spread mean gossip; their words smart and burn. Troublemakers start fights; gossips break up friendships. (16:27-28)
Listening to gossip is like eating cheap candy; do you really want junk like that in your belly? (18:8)
Answering before listening is both stupid and rude. (18:13)
Smooth talk from an evil heart is like glaze on cracked pottery. Your enemy shakes hands and greets you like an old friend, all the while conniving against you.When he speaks warmly to you, don't believe him for a minute; he's just waiting for the chance to rip you off.No matter how cunningly he conceals his malice, eventually his evil will be exposed in public. Malice backfires; spite boomerangs. Liars hate their victims; flatterers sabotage trust. (26:23-28)
A flattering neighbor is up to no good; he's probably planning to take advantage of you. (29:5)

Courtesy of the Message and Biblegatway.com